PlaguedByBSoDs™

It’s a constant irritant to the Loons.

Despite your better instincts, you switch That Other Machine on (you know, the actual one that comes with Windows installed: not the Virtual PoggoWetDream), and it immediately demands hardware drivers that you can’t find and probably don’t even exist.

Not at all like the Linux desktop, is it?

But, wait! It gets better!

Finally, and although you have no interest in working with Windows (or, indeed, in working at all), you get through the multiple hurdles, gritting your teeth against the unaccountable absence of apt-get and other goodies. Finally it will —

— BSoD. Let’s partay like it’s 1995!(1)

And then it will BSoD again. And BSod and BSoD and BSoD.

Remember: this is never your fault. It is not your fault that you have thrown together a bunch of components salvaged from a car boot sale. It is not your fault that you are an incompetent electrician. It is not your fault that the world is against you and that the world just goes out and buys cheap, up-to-date hardware that doesn’t BSoD, and even if it does, they just take it back on warranty.

It is not your fault that you are an incompetent paranoid moron who can barely tie your own shoelaces together without tripping over.

It’s Micro$oft’s fault!

After all, M$ stuck that dirty great BSoD up there explaining in great detail how your hardware burned itself into a crisp. M$ knew all that!

Waah! Why can’t Microsoft fix it for me?

——-

(1) Or, in Desktop Linux’ case, like it’s 2011. There goes that little vanishing white speck as your X-session, or is it indeed an X-client, valiantly takes everything else down with it.

But, hey, you never need to reboot Linux!

And to be fair, on the desktop, it already starts up with the Purple Screen of Vomit.