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Dec 6, 2009 2:16 PM
By Frak
37 comments

Linux is immune to any and all malware whatsoever. Even if somebody exploits a hole that has existed for years in a commonly used program, Linux somehow manages to protect itself in the face of teh evil haxxorz.

This is the direct result of Richard Stallman spreading his magic toe fungus on every computer that runs Linux. This toe fungus happens to be what keeps all Linux computers secure from everything, ever.

Turns out users really want screensavers.

#1 Posted by administrator on Dec 6, 2009 2:44 PM

Security through obscurity.

#2 Posted by Frak on Dec 6, 2009 6:12 PM

Hah, so true.

#3 Posted by GabberGoat on Dec 8, 2009 8:28 AM

You’dHaveToRunAsRootForItToDoAnyDamage™

#4 Posted by Frak on Dec 8, 2009 5:26 PM

@GabberGoat

Don’t doubt your LY brotherin. They just got pwned by a screensaver trick.

#5 Posted by Frak on Dec 8, 2009 5:30 PM

Also, trademarked.

#6 Posted by hoppi on Dec 8, 2009 5:51 PM

GetALife™

Try fixing problems instead of just moaning about them. That is what open source IS.

This is the definition of counter-productive.

#7 Posted by administrator on Dec 8, 2009 6:34 PM

Not everyone is a developer. Most people are just plain users. Complaining is the only tool they have, its called giving feedback.

Too bad the FOSS community insults anyone who complains and then says FixItYourself™ like you just did!

#8 Posted by hoppi on Dec 8, 2009 7:09 PM

I didn’t mean it like that. Even constructive debate is worthwhile. This is called bashing.

#9 Posted by administrator on Dec 8, 2009 7:22 PM

All these trademarks are based specifically on things Linux advocates have stated. This site is a mirror on their rhetoric.

The descriptions are meant to be satirical. I don’t think the same could be said about the FUD spread by Linux zealots all over the internet.

#10 Posted by hoppi on Dec 8, 2009 8:35 PM

I’m not generalizing though, I’m talking about something in particular, which isn’t really satirical it’s a targeted attack.

I don’t spread FUD.

Anyway… no need to keep going, but I just don’t like the way Frak approaches these things but I guess we will never agree :(

#11 Posted by Frak on Dec 8, 2009 10:57 PM

Mr. Administrator, if you want a king of the LY, Hoppi could easily be it. Don’t be surprised if his opinions seem… stupid…

#12 Posted by hoppi on Dec 8, 2009 11:29 PM

ah and what a structured comeback that was! =D

#13 Posted by Frak on Dec 9, 2009 12:53 AM

It’s a skill. Too bad we can’t all be this great.

#14 Posted by DrLoser on Dec 9, 2009 5:17 PM

@Hoppi

GetALife™

“Try fixing problems instead of just moaning about them. That is what open source IS.
This is the definition of counter-productive.”

OK, I’ll bite. I’ve got a Linux system. Give me a problem to fix.

Open Source is a worthless construct, unless people actually fix it.

Go on. I dare you. C, C++, Python, Perl, whatever.

#15 Posted by hoppi on Dec 9, 2009 9:09 PM

@DrLoser To be honest that’s not what I’m really saying, I was a bit blunt there.

I’m not a coder either to be fair, but I’m just saying that this is BASHING. It’s not constructive, and it’s not helpful. By all means highlight problems, but in a useful and relevant and productive way, as otherwise, why be involved with something at all if you hate it so much?

#16 Posted by Frak on Dec 10, 2009 12:34 AM

Because you exist, and that’s waaaaay too much.

#17 Posted by DrLoser on Dec 10, 2009 2:31 PM

@Hoppi

“I’m not a coder either?”

I design and write and document and support code for a living. When called upon, I’ll even come up with an architecture.

The challenge stands:

GetALife™
“Try fixing problems instead of just moaning about them. That is what open source IS.
This is the definition of counter-productive.”
OK, I’ll bite. I’ve got a Linux system. Give me a problem to fix.
Open Source is a worthless construct, unless people actually fix it.
Go on. I dare you. C, C++, Python, Perl, whatever.

What — it’s not that you don’t understand codez; you just have no interest in them working correctly?

Or are you just happy with your uni-functional Ubuntu desktop: switch on, switch off?

#18 Posted by hoppi on Dec 10, 2009 7:53 PM

I’m just saying that bashing is not constructive. Submit bug reports or brainstorm ideas… or if you don’t like it don’t use it. I like it so I use it. I have very few issues with my system, and it gives me personally a much better computing experience than Windows 7 :)

#19 Posted by ChrisTX on Dec 11, 2009 9:23 AM

“or if you don’t like it don’t use it.”
That’s not the point. It is that people actually want to convert others using any means to convert to linux.
It doesn’t matter on that way if you spread wrong facts to convert them ( example: http://www.whylinuxisbetter.net/items/defragment/index.php?lang= ) or just assume that anyone who doesn’t use Linux was a total moron !!111!!1 … btw, if you don’t like THIS PAGE why are you here?

#20 Posted by Clanky on Dec 11, 2009 12:55 PM

@ HOPPI “I didn’t mean it like that. Even constructive debate is worthwhile. This is called bashing”

Have you ever seen the response of the linux zealots when someone actually tries to raise an issue for constructive debate. You don’t have to look too far for the average response, they are all here and all trademarked.

#21 Posted by BinarySpill on Dec 11, 2009 3:15 PM

“”“
POSTED BY CLANKY ON DEC 11, 2009 12:55 PM
@ HOPPI “I didn’t mean it like that. Even constructive debate is worthwhile. This is called bashing”
Have you ever seen the response of the linux zealots when someone actually tries to raise an issue for constructive debate. You don’t have to look too far for the average response, they are all here and all trademarked.
“”“
beautiful, simple beautiful, someone somewhere get this guy a beer and a blowjob.

#22 Posted by hoppi on Dec 11, 2009 6:25 PM

@CHRISTX I am on this page because you lot are attacking something I love ._.

And it’s not the talking about Linux “zealots” or “freetards” or whatever people scraping the barrel want to call them, it’s the Linux/open source bashing I don’t like :(

#23 Posted by administrator on Dec 11, 2009 7:28 PM

Why do YOU need open source Hoppi? You’re not even a developer. You don’t want “open source”, you want “free”, because your allowance can’t afford you the real Photoshop.

We’re not bashing, we’re pointing out flaws. Then Linux apologists like you arrive and defend something that’s obviously broken rather than putting pressure on the developers to get it fixed. We’re just pointing out that we can’t drive the car because the tire is flat.

Besides, this site isn’t bashing Linux, its bashing the FOSS community, which you yearn to be a part of, that defend it so viciously!

#24 Posted by icehuck on Dec 11, 2009 8:46 PM

“My name is Hoppi. I don’t have many friends, Linux doesn’t have many users…maybe I can be Linux’s friend.”

#25 Posted by hoppi on Dec 11, 2009 8:57 PM

I like the complete jumping to assumptions in an attempt to prop up a fake argument…

Look look, I don’t use Linux because it’s free. If that were true I wouldn’t be sitting here with Windows 7 on here dual boot. I appreciate Linux being free, but I thoroughly support the values that Ubuntu and open source in general stand for, and I think the OS and graphical interfaces are excellent.

I don’t care that I am not a developer, I don’t have time to become one right now.

I do have many friends and I simply like Linux and open source.

#26 Posted by administrator on Dec 11, 2009 9:39 PM

So like it QUIETLY! Rather than advocating it. If you like it that doesn’t mean you need to evangelize it everywhere you go and in everything you do!

I use Windows and OSX as desktops, but you don’t see me coming to Ubuntu Forums trying to convince YOU to use either, do you? Do you understand why this site exists? Its specifically because people like yourself feel it your duty to come to places like this and spread the gospel!

#27 Posted by hoppi on Dec 12, 2009 3:14 AM

But YOU started it :(

You started this fight I’m just defending Linux, I would never come to a normal Windows forum and say or do anything, I don’t care what they do lol

It’s not a huge deal ofc, it’s just lots of people seem to take great pleasure in bashing Linux, so I was defending it!

#28 Posted by icehuck on Dec 12, 2009 4:12 AM

“My name is Hoppi. I don’t have many friends, Linux doesn’t have many users…maybe I can be Linux’s friend.”

#29 Posted by administrator on Dec 12, 2009 5:01 AM

@Hoppi, we didn’t start anything. Like I said, all the Trademarks are based on actual excuses Linux advocates like yourself use to avoid dealing with the issues.

You may think that defending Linux is doing it a favour, but really, you’re harming it. You’re like a proud parent who is unwilling to admit that their child has a drug problem and sits there making excuses.

Its okay to criticize Linux, you know. Criticism is constructive. Most of these Trademarks will become moot if fanboys like you would stop defending your pet OS and actually look at it critically and hold the developers to a higher standard.

#30 Posted by DrLoser on Dec 12, 2009 2:21 PM

@DEC 12, 2009 3:14 AM

Well, life isn’t perfect.

Neither Windows 7 nor Linux is perfect.

Got a problem with any given Linux Desktop app? We are your friends.

You can post it on Ubuntu and wither away.

Or you can post it here. My challenge still stands.

Are you a man, or a mouse?

#31 Posted by hoppi on Dec 12, 2009 10:54 PM

lol fair do’s :)

It’s not really the TMs I had an issue with, it’s the fact many people do seem to take delight in bashing Linux as well! It’s not the constructive criticism, it’s the pleasure some people seem to take in attacking it!

But yeah anyway, I mean I can see the flaws with Linux and open source but, aside from being distracted anyway, I am fairly confident they are being taken care of anyway (Ubuntu is moving at a pace I am very comfortable with and is working on becoming more friendly for less techie users, KDE 4 is progressing very nicely, etc etc)

I am for 95% of the time a very content user :)

#32 Posted by Frak on Dec 13, 2009 2:56 AM

“My name is Hoppi. I don’t have many friends, Linux doesn’t have many users…maybe I can be Linux’s friend.”

#33 Posted by hoppi on Dec 13, 2009 3:37 AM

“My name is Frak. I have way, way too much time on my hands so I like to bash Linux. That is all.”

#34 Posted by ChrisTX on Dec 13, 2009 12:31 PM

Hoppi, if you hadn’t have way to much time either, you wouldn’t be here arguing with us :)

But don’t worry, as soon as Oombooboo 10.04 comes out, you’ll be busy fixing your OS for some days.
Alternatively, there’s still the compiz cube waiting to be spinned by you!

#35 Posted by DrLoser on Dec 13, 2009 12:52 PM

Apparently, Hoppi is a mouse.

#36 Posted by reactosguy on Dec 21, 2009 10:52 PM

I’ve heard of Linux viruses on Wikipedia.

That was then, this is now. Linux rarely gets viruses but it had some.

Every OS has at least one virus. Tell me one which doesn’t.

#37 Posted by DrLoser on Dec 22, 2009 5:21 PM

You really are a tosser, aren’t you?

It’s a completely irrelevant question, but the answer is Stratus VOS.

There were three direct descendants of Multics: Unix, VMS and VOS.

I’m none too sure that VMS ever had a virus, either.

But so what?

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