From Jim Zemlin. Let us now celebrate twenty years of Linux going nowhere on the desktop, because, well, you know, it would have been wrong to waste valuable development effort on something that is doomed to only 3 billion users worldwide and thus monumental irrelevancy.
The future is toasters. No, wait, it’s sanitary pads. Or was that traffic lights? Is it for the birds? No. It’s SuperComputingLinux, coming soon to a rather expensively powered basement near you.
Yes, You Too Can Turn Your Dumpster-Dived Durden RenderStation Into A Toaster, All Due To Awesome Linux! Only Awesome Failure Can Give You Yummy Toasty Victory!
(Health warning. Remember to wipe off the gummy brown liquid from the dumpster before using Linux as a Toaster.)
No, seriously. It’s what Jim Zemlin truly believes. And Jim Zemlin is Executive Director of the Linux Foundation. Jim Zemlin is not a Paid Loontard Shill, oh no. Round some parts, Jim Zemlin sits on God’s Right Hand. And God lets him get away with it, because God Can Pick Cheese From His Toes With His Left Hand.
That’s just the way God works, mysteriously. Rather like the way that Linux is a massive success precisely because it has been a total abject failure.
Luckily, God is now available under GPL3. Fork your own Stallman! The tootsies, they just want to be free!
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