Stop Presses! iPad to be Epic Failure... Because Magic 8 Ball Says So!

I’m feeling a new trademark coming on, I’m sure its a variant of one that was previously proposed because all of the members have put up some great ones over in the trademark section. It goes something like this BecauseWeSaidSo!(TM). And without further adieu I present the first of todays latest FUD-ridden article from Boycott Novell.

Apparently, the boys over at Boycott Novell have gotten their hands on an oracle, divining rod, or magic crystal ball because despite the fact that the iPad was announce less than two weeks ago they already know that its a failure. For good measure they compare it to the Zune. I’m unaware of any sales numbers for the Zune so I can’t comment on whether it is even a legitimate comparison. However, it tickles the brain to notice that the first blow leveled against the iPad is a comparison to a Product of the Great Satan.

In truest FUD form Boycott Novell declares the iPad a failure based on 4 articles:

• iPad’s hype machine
• Apples shameless marketing
• GNU/Linux Yawns at Apple’s Large iPhone
• Apple is Bad for Sharing, Forbids Mentioning Linux

I’m sure rational people would read those headlines and ponder what exactly they have to do with the likelihood of the iPad’s success. After all, the first too are about how Apple is somehow advertising in an underhanded fashion. Note that in my region of the US there has not yet been an iPad commercial or similar presented for general consumption that I have observed. The closest thing to a mainstream venue that I’ve seen mention the iPad so far is CNN’s Tech Coverage from 10 days ago. Still, Boycott Novell claims there is a stew of failure abrewin’. To see why exactly, lets look closer.

The first mentioned article starts off with a dig at Microsoft. Apparently, Microsoft bought favorable review of Vista and 7. How this is germane to the stated topic is beyond me. Sometimes, I wonder if Microsoft hatred is like an acid, eating away at these writer’s souls. With apologies to Yoda, Hate most certainly leads to the dark side.

To move on, Apple apparently sent iPads to important writers prior to the launch of the iPad. Also, Apple has a tremendous hype machine. Oh, and in order for reviewers to review an expensive item, you actually have to give it to reviewers. Why this is a surprise is beyond me. It would be impossible to get reviews for something like a tablet otherwise since reviews simply cannot afford to drop $500 dollars or more on every single product on the market. Particularly independent reviewers that are so highly regarded in this new Web 2.0 age. Thus, the easiest way to make sure that your product gets reviewed is to actually give it to people. It’s not bribery because if you really are highly enough regarded to warrant getting free stuff you can still pan the product without fear the the source company will stop sending you items to review.

The second article basically quotes a bunch of news articles out of context. The hilarity is that the misquotes are both from people that support Linux and those who are ambivalent. Amusingly, the first article is about Apple’s Hype Machine in the context of the iPad. They make no judgements on the iPad itself but rather note the extraordinary volume of the buzz surrounding the iPad. Other articles are of similar topic, I urge you to read them yourselves if you have time. Boycott Novell writers have perfected a mastery of citing articles to support their points that only tangentially relate to the topic at hand. As an example, consider the assertion presented that anything the iPad can do Linux can already do better. The quoted article is from our beloved SJVN. However, in the actual article he states that But it won’t just be the Apple iPad that does them in. I foresee a rollout of dozens of Linux-powered devices by the end of the year. Intriguing, no?

Before moving on I would like to apologize. It was my intention to do a complete rebuttal of a number of BN articles today. However, there simply wouldn’t be time since every article they present is self-linking almost in its entirety. Before moving on to the next article I would like to draw your attention to the graph about 1/2 way down the page. Apparently, because Microsoft says so, Linux has a higher market share to OS X. How this relevant to the success of the iPad, is as usually, veiled from my obviously ignorant mind, however, its undoubtably ironic for Boycott Novell to spend the first two paragraphs in an article about the iPad to bash Microsoft only to use statistics from one of their CEO’s presentations to prove that Linux is more widely used than OS X (which somehow has bearing on the iPad).

So remember kids, when analyzing product launches remember that unless you somehow have sales numbers or independent statistically valid survey’s of the target audience you have nothing to say.