5
Votes
The Katherine Noyes drinking game.
Here’s how you play it – for every hackneyed, meaningless sound bite from this crazy lady, you take a shot of whiskey (or methylated spirit if you happen to be broke).
Let me give you some example rules:
- When you see the words “new” and “hardware” next to each other and in the same sentence with “Windows”, take a shot.
- When you see something along the line of “N reasons” or “M things”, take a shot.
- When you see “Mac vs. PC”, take a shot.
- When you see mentioning of old hardware in the same sentence with the name “Linux”, take a shot.
- When you see mentioning of Windows “virus” or “malware”, take a shot.
- When you see the word “secure” in the same sentence with the name “Linux”, take a shot.
- For every occurrence of “open source”, “free” or “proprietary”, you take one shot. For every two of these phrases in the same sentence, you get double the shots for each occurrence in the sentence. And for all three phrases in the same sentence, you get triple.
- For every mentioning of Linux LiveCDs, take a shot.
- When you see the word “easy” in the same sentence with “Linux”, take a shot.
- When you see mentioning of the Linux “community”, take a shot.
If you manage to remain sober (or not go blind) after reading through one whole article, you win.
Comments
I tried it with port, not whiskey. After half of the article I gave up. Seriously, the game is not even fair!
However, this game is genius. It’s the first drinking game where you have headache both, while and after drinking!
I don’t see much FUD in the article. Sure, it’s biased towards Linux, but there’s nothing particularly egregious or flat out wrong.
1- The “x reasons” thing. As much as I hate it too, everyone does it, not just when talking about Linux. Look at these examples: – http://www.google.com/search?q=reasons+to+switch : only one result on the first page is about Linux – http://www.google.com/search?q=reasons+to+switch to mac : just wow. 19 million results, while “reasons to switch to linux” is just 1 million. – http://www.google.com/search?q=reasons+to+switch+to+windows : mostly about upgrading to Windows 7, but still. – http://www.google.com/search?q=reasons+to+get+a+(ps3+OR+xbox+OR+wii) : I used “get a” instead of “switch to” because that’s the word usually used in consoles.
As you can see, “10 reasons” and “5 things” and “31 considerations” are pretty common things on the internet.
2- Unlike freetards who say “you should, must, have to, under penalty of losing your immortal soul, use our imposed Freedom software”, she’s just asking people to be aware of the existence of alternatives. Is awareness such a bad thing? Are people so dumb and unable to choose for themselves? Should we start destroying books that make people think, like in A Brave New World or Equilibrium?
3- I don’t see anything inherently bad in using old hardware if it works. If I have a 5-years old computer that runs Windows XP just fine (and 7 is a bit too heavy on it), are you going to tell me I must get a new computer? Of course not. Why is it different if it was running Linux? (That’s a true story, it’s not my main machine, but it really runs Windows XP). Besides, think of the environment and the damage e-waste does to it.
4- I was skeptical when I saw the title “Malware Isn’t Everywhere”, but she actually said the only valid argument on this topic: Windows’ ubiquity makes it more attractive to hackers. Although she does lose a point for linking to a “Why Linux Is More Secure Than Windows” article.
5- I was starting to find the article okay, but she had to ruin it in the “Proprietary Software Will Cost You” point. She says “Because the code is closed, users can’t see or modify that code to suit their own needs”. Well, because only an uber-linux-hacker can understand most of that code, users can’t [read] or modify that code to suit their own needs.
6- Wow, did she just acknowledge that people are free to continue using Windows if they have the slightest uncertainty about Linux? Why haven’t freetards executed her for heresy yet?
... To be continued, I passed the 3000 characters limit.
7- “I’m not saying that Linux is the best operating system for everyone, or that it’s perfect”. Come on people (of TMR), lumping extremists and moderates together makes your argument much weaker. You’re practically telling people “If you use Linux, your argument is invalid, no matter how true it might be. We’re not listening, putting fingers in ears la la la la”
It’s a shame that she uses so many TMs, but it’s kinda hard to distinguish a good argument from a bad TM sometimes. As a TV Tropes reader myself, I like to think of TMs as tropes. They’re simply recurring themes in arguments (as tropes are recurring themes in the media). To quote TV Tropes, TMs are not bad, TMs are not good1.
[1] http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TropesAreTools
@IMGX64:
All very fair. However, Noyes is anything but a moderate. For proof, pick any link from her article and follow it through … to another article. And another article. And another article.
All by her, and all “Five reasons to…” She’s the acknowledged queen of the genre.
In any case, the main beef we here at TMR have with her is that she’s so relentlessly dull and repetitive. She’s found a motherlode (of prominence rather than cash, I would guess), and she’s too damn lazy to exercise any thought or originality.
And all the sleazy throat-clearing in the world (“I’m not saying that … ooh, yes, I am, it’s a fair cop guv”) is not going to change that.
@Joe:
I wouldn’t last through the first paragraph, and I’m an alcoholic. Be fair.
It’s a great idea, though. Needs narrowing down to specific Katteria, as IMGX64 says. How about “every self-referential link beyond the first five?” That’s still a quarter of a bottle right there. Also the “every business should consider …” trope. And, he1l, why not? Let’s make this free-form — a Loon party, like a logo party but more fun.
Get a group of friends round (and a lot of bottles) and actually pick five possible things that Noyes is going to say in her next article. Then read the five reasons to article.
Then call for an ambulance to the detox unit.
I think my favourite in this particular article — and it seems to be new to Noyes — is the argument that Microsoft is forcing you to buy Windows 8*, yet hardware is lasting longer, so in fact they, er, aren’t.
C’mon, either Windows 8 is a magnificent new set of features that you really can’t do without, or it isn’t. You really cannot have it both ways unless you are Ms Noyes.
@DRLOSER
I see. That was the first time I read an article by her, so I was unaware of her past. The article by itself didn’t seem extreme, so I’m going to give her the benefit of the doubt and assume she improved over time. I just added PC World to my RSS Reader, let’s see how this goes.
You have a great point about new Windows versions requiring better hardware. You can continue to use your older version, and Microsoft is known to support their operating systems for a long time. Windows XP is still supported and it’s a desktop OS. No desktop Linux is supported for a quarter of that time. Even support for servers isn’t that long. Ubuntu (server LTS) is supported for 5 years, and Red Hat is supported for 7 years.
Hem hem.
FiveReasons™
FiveStagesOfLinux™
A little short on references (even if both of these are mine).
I should write an aggregator that parses the article and tallies the total number of drinks you need to take.
No, let Adam do it. What’s the use of a pet troll if you can’t leverage his awesome calculus-fu?
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