(Courtesy of Anonymous)
This stuff is from 1998. No, seriously, I ain’t kidding.
- (13) Java.
Slowly, relentlessly, it’s coming.
And slowly, steadily, it’s running off a cliff.
- (14) Linux
This fast, stable, and free Unix-based OS is widely used (on 7 million mostly high-end desktops) and has won support from tech heavies including IBM, Oracle, Informix, and Intel. Still too geeky for prime time, Linux is nonetheless a threat to NT.
How long has Linux been around? When the “community” begins to understand how to actually build an OS properly, then we shall talk about “threat” in grand details. But, until then, keep dreaming.
- (15) One Big Computer.
“Time sharing”, “thin client”, “SaaS”, “the cloud”, etc, etc…
- (16) Always Open.
The movement toward open-source software is expanding.
And plop it goes.
- (19) Candy, Strangers, Et Cetera.
Make no mistake. When Netscape gives away Communicator and opens its source, it’s trying to keep developers happy and sow its product. When Microsoft lets you have something for free – Internet Explorer, say – the tactic takes an ugly turn. It’s usually a way of knifing a competitor, and the bill will come due later.
Internet Explorer 9 – download here
- (55) They Got Courage.
Netscape, RealNetworks, Yahoo!, and the rest of the Internet rockets show that it is not suicidal to compete directly with Microsoft.
Navigator? Gone. RealPlayer? Nobody cares. Yahoo? Ouch!
- (57) It’s Connectivity, Stupid.
Wintel is about leveraging processor speed. The future is about leveraging connectivity
And multi-cored processors.
- (66) Squeeze Two.
[Some irrelevant crap about RDP...] Linux, anyone?
No, thanks!
- (71) UnPCs.
The 21st century’s most common PC will not be a desktop box. It will be a handheld, something like the PalmPilot or digital books.
And flying cars. And commercial flights to Mars.
- (72) Wireless? Clueless.
Another crucial unPC battleground is the fusion of telecom and small computing devices – phone/computers like the Nokia 9000 Communicator. Ericsson, which liked WinCE enough to choose it for its PDA, picked Symbian’s EPOC OS for its smart phones. One reason: WinCE isn’t optimized for low power consumption. Another: Manufacturers are reluctant to get in bed with Goliath.
Reality check: failed.
Here’s a drinking game for you: Read through all 83 points in the article. When you come across a TM, give yourself a shot of whiskey. If you manage to keep your liver after that, you win.
Comments
My God. Truly an excellent find.
“Always Open” ~ Paging Mr. Jobs; your popular tablet isn’t open! Surely it must fail now.
“Windows NT, the company’s attempt to seize the lucrative network server market, is a bug-infested mess that, in its upcoming 5.0 version, could run to 35 million lines of code”
HAHAHAHAHA! THE’RE COMPLAINING ABOUT THE # OF LINES OF CODE!?
“(22) Brand X Factor.
You don’t need Windows to use today’s killer apps – Web surfing and email. In fact, the OS that happens to be running in the background is losing its importance for most computer users.
“
They wrote this article just after System Shock 2 and Half-Life were released. Those are the games that made me a computer nerd; I don’t recall being able to play CS or TF on a damn thin client.
Let’s soldier on, won’t we?
“(30) DC Rules.
The Net has made the PC desktop a global media device. That puts Microsoft at the intersection of Big Money and Power Politics, where you make the signal turn green by figuring out which levers are pulled when. The Washington State crew has been slow to learn the Washington, DC, rules.
“
I don’t even know how to respond to this one. I’m sure a multibillion dollar firm can figure out how to lobby.
Now we get two contradictory ones right in a row:
“(34) Arithmetic 1A.
A $14 billion company with 27,320 employees cannot keep growing revenue 40-plus percent a year – the kind of performance that keeps investors drooling. Smaller competitors have an easier time producing magic numbers.
“
So they’re a crappy company because they have limited growth prospects…then we get:
“Microsoft is constantly trying to lure smart new people to Redmond, and stock options have been good bait. But MSFT’s sky-high stock price can be a turnoff. “Recruits have said, 'I don’t think there’s as much upside to Microsoft stock,’” chief financial officer Greg Maffei told analysts in July. “[They say] 'I want to go to a company that’s smaller, that’s not as highly valued, where there is more upside.’”
Stocks are a measure of expected growth. So MS is bad because their growth will be limited, but they’re also bad because their stock is too high and their growth prospects are considered too good?“
“(41) Buyback Cul-de-Sac.
With a $14 billion bank account, Microsoft has the cash to prop up its shares. As many cash-rich companies do, it could go into a down market and buy back stock. But that’s only a short-term fix: Buybacks don’t grow the earnings that Wall Street craves.
“
It 'could’. MS could also hire Hitler’s clone and secede from the US. The article immediately assumes that MS will do the most short-sighted thing in any case.
“(75) Y2K? It’s Your Fault.
The more software you’ve sold, the bigger your potential liability when things go awry. And it is certain the Year 2000 will go awry to some degree. Who’ll be in the tort lawyers’ sights? “Large companies who have deep pockets,” says Microsoft CFO Maffei.
“
Remember how Windows installs everywhere crashed spectacularly on Jan 1, 2000? No? Oh that’s right, that’s because you inhabit this place called 'reality’.
“(76) Global Flu.
Getting more than half your revenue outside the United States sounds like a great idea – until the rest of the world’s currencies start crashing. As Maffei says, “There is nothing we can do to stop it.”
If the rest of the world’s currencies start crashing, then which frakking OS to support will be the least of your worries. Also, has he consulted the oracle at Delphi or something? How the hell would he know about impending economic collapse?
I have to stop now. This is, bar none, the worst article I have ever read. Not even the Queefer’s spew comes close to this. Half the reasons are regurgitations of one another, some are contradictory, and others would only make sense to people who have toked so much weed that they’re dying of blood toxicity. May God have mercy on the soul of the writer.
Basically, every prediction made by FOSS hopeful is always wrong. If a FOSStard tells you to bet on red, you’d better bet on black!
“if a FOSStard tells you to bet on red, youd’ better bet on black”
You mean like the guys who sold their Motorola stock and bought Apple stock right before the announcement of the iPad 2, despite the freetards’ predictions that the Xoom will totally, definately obliterate the iPad?
Why is it always 83? What’s wrong with 5?
When these berks go overboard, they really go overboard with a vengeance, don’t they?
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